Too much gin, very little bucket
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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