He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
