maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
