I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
