youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
