he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
