im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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