so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I pour the whiskey from now on
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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