he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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