I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
