its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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