i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I came so hard my ears popped.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize