May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
