Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
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I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
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Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize