I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
