Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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