Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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