we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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