New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
