apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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