i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
