I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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