with your own penis?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
