I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
