I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
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For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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