I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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