Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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