you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's never too late to be topless.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
