That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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