I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
