So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
