Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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