Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
