Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
