I cannot find my penis.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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