hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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