porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
