I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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