Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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