You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize