We won't sleep together?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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