This is not my ceiling
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
