that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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