I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
