Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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