spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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