we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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