i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
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It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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