did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize