I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
