dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
