I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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