I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
