now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it's like iHOP with fire
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and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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