That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
