3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
