Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
