i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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