oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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